


Lost my head

by violetjosh



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blowjobs, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Redbull, Touring, Vessel Era, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 05:12:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17277701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetjosh/pseuds/violetjosh
Summary: "What's up?" Jordan's voice is raspy from sleep, he's all scruffy. Tyler's heart burns. He's just—Tyler doesn't even know what to think of him.





	Lost my head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [edy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/edy/gifts), [regionals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/gifts), [C0LUMBINE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/C0LUMBINE/gifts).



> aaaaaa, so it’s finally here. after me spending maybe a week on it idk. i haven’t written anything in a while and i think this has pushed me to get back into it. 
> 
> i gift this to edy, cade and vero because we all share a love for jordan. edy started this whole thing and then cade continued it and then vero and cade dealt with all my complaining about writing this for the past 3 days. so i gift this to the three of them because i probably wouldn’t have written this otherwise. 
> 
> so thank you!! i love you guys.

 

Tyler meets Jordan when he's 24. It's weird.

 He's on the couch, sweaty from band practice and Josh's head is in his lap as he sleeps. His mouth is open and he's drooling, snoring, moving. Josh does all the things Tyler finds annoying in his sleep, so to keep him from moving, at the very least, his fingers are in his hair, nails scratching dully against his scalp. Something in which he knows that Josh likes just as much when he's awake and something that he's learned keeps him from kicking around as he sleeps.

 He's about to pass out too, his eyes feel heavy and his eyelids keep twitching but he hears the stairs creaking and loud quick footsteps coming down and Tyler opens his eyes, lazily, to check who it is. He expects Josh's mom for some reason, she's always coming down to check on them. But, he is pleasantly surprised when he sees Jordan, the only sibling of Josh's he hasn't met yet.

 Jordan is just as surprised, but Tyler doubts it's for the same reason. "Oh," He pauses for a moment, foot dangling off the edge of the stair, debating whether or not to continue into the basement, like Tyler's presence makes a difference.

 He recognizes him, but he doesn't, his hair while being curly like Josh's, isn't shaved and is a lot darker. He has a lot of Josh's features too but he looks so different. Tyler likes it, and he kind of stares for a second.

 "Hey." Tyler says eventually, it's polite and he's ready to introduce himself properly despite not being a people. He’s ready to say, Hey I’m Josh's best friend and band mate, nice to meet you, Josh talks about you a lot. He expects it, that dull, necessary small talk, especially since he knows that Jordan is just as nice as Josh is.

 So when Jordan takes that final step, feet to the basement floor and murmurs  a gentle but warm _Hey_ _man_ back and rushes to the room at the opposite end from where Tyler's sitting. Tyler is kind of put off, but still, he goes back to stroking Josh's hair and attempting to fall asleep. 

*

 Band practice lasts hours, Josh's clothes are always wet with sweat when they're done and Tyler's vocal chords throb just a bit.

Today, is no different.

 "Okay," Tyler breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes. His fingers are still stuck stuck to his keyboard. "I'm done."

Josh stops drumming and Tyler can hear him panting. "Yeah." He's just as out of breath. "Mario kart?"

Tyler smiles.

 

*

 

The next time they play a show, all of Josh's family is in the crowd and Tyler injures his ankle jumping off his piano. He pushes through it until the end and pretends it doesn't hurt.

When he gets off stage, he has a slight limp. He's twisted it if anything and Mark tells him as much once they're situated in the bathroom where there's proper lighting. He ends up sitting on the floor, sock and shoe removed with his leg propped up on a backpack.

"We'll just ice it." He rotates Tyler's foot, Tyler hisses.

"I know." Tyler tells him, he's already sent Josh to get ice. He's had enough (2) injuries from playing basketball. He knows how to deal with minor ankle injuries. This one doesn't seem that bad. "I probably don't need to wrap it right?"

"Oh." A head of dark hair pops out from behind the door. Mark and Tyler's eyes snap up. Jordan is standing there, grinning awkwardly, dangling a ziplock bag of ice in his hand. "Josh sent me."

He hands the ice to Mark, who stands up and grabs some brown paper towel to wrap around it.

Jordan steps into the bathroom, making an already small space feel even smaller. "Are you okay dude?" Tyler doesn't respond besides a shrug, Jordan is staring at ankle. "It looks sprained."

"It's twisted." Tyler grits his teeth. He can't have a sprained ankle right now.

"It's _uh_ , very swollen and looks kinda stiff."

"It isn't sprained."

Mark rotates his foot again and presses the ice to the bruised part. "I think he might be right. I don't think twisted ankles are supposed to look like this."

"Fuck." Tyler swallows, staring at his swollen, red, slightly bruised ankle. He stares pointedly at Mark when Mark moves his ankle again. "Can you stop? What is that accomplishing?" 

"I'm just, checking." He says innocently.

"Can I check?" Jordan asks, moving to crouch down to the floor before Tyler even answers.

"I guess." Tyler shrugs, he's spoken to Jordan once but he's Josh's brother, so there's some level of trust there. "Where's Josh?" 

"Talking with some fans." Jordan smiles slightly and to Tyler's luck, doesn't rotate his stupid ankle but instead presses his fingers to it for a second. It hurts significantly less. "It's really funny, they're all gathered around him like he's their only source of warmth."

Tyler snorts. Jordan presses up and down his bruise until Tyler flinches at a particularly sensitive spot. 

"Does that hurt?"

"No." He lies.

"Is this one of your weird things?" Mark asks Jordan, knowingly. Jordan flushes and doesn't make eye contact, his eyes instead focusing on Tyler's ankle. His fingers gentle and attentive.

"Weird things?" Tyler repeats, holding back on asking why Mark actually seems to know Jordan a lot more than he was expecting him to. 

"Jordan wastes his time." Mark tells him, he ruffles Jordan's hair. Jordan let's out an embarrassed laugh.

"It's not a weird thing and it's not a waste of time." Jordan says, and presses the ice to Tyler's ankle. Tyler flinches. Jordan smiles at him sheepishly. "I like to teach myself stuff when I have spare time, and when I sprained my ankle last year I spent the entire time I was injured researching sprained ankles." 

"How'd you sprain it?"

"I slipped on some ice." He says quickly, sitting back on his haunches. "Either way, I watched like, I swear, at least 100 youtube videos about sprained ankles."

"And from that," He looks to his elevated ankle, pats Tyler's knee like they're close friends and he stands, using it as leverage. "you definitely have a sprained ankle."

"Do you know how I can heal it within a day?" Tyler asks urgently. "We have a show tomorrow." 

Mark sighs. "We might have to–" _Cancel_ it.

"Don't you say it." 

Mark rolls his eyes. "What's the verdict doctor Jordan?" Tyler chuckles, Jordan's eyes widen, just a bit.

"You're not gonna c–"

"No." Tyler cuts him off. They'll never cancel a show, not for something so tiny.

Jordan blinks and nods, as though he's not surprised. Mark rolls his eyes again. "Keep it elevated, iced and don't put weight on it until tomorrow. Wrapping it helps, it'll help compress it." 

"Maybe we can get you a wheel chair?" Mark suggests. 

"That's dumb." But Tyler can't help but laugh.

They end up wrapping it, the tiny venue they played at tonight luckily having a first aid kit. He lets Jordan do it despite Mark insisting that he can do a better job than a 18 year old.

Mark ends up pulling his camera when he realizes he's not going to be allowed to help at all. He records the moment, Tyler hides his face.

Josh comes back with a bag of taco bell right when Jordan is securing the wrap around Tyler's ankle and helping him pull his sock back over his heel. Josh grimaces, if he's worried he doesn't show it. "How's your ankle?"

Jordan and Mark say. "He sprained it." at the same time that Tyler says. "Good." And then Josh looks worried. Damn.

Tyler frowns and slides his shoe back on. "It's not that serious, we're good for tomorrow."

"Okay." Josh purses his lips, he doesn't believe him. Tyler stares at the bag of taco bell, his stomach growls. "Do you want help standing up?"

"I was thinking we find him a wheelchair." Mark snorts, Josh laughs.

"No." Tyler shifts. "Help me up."

He grips Josh's arm and without asking Jordan wraps his arm around his waist and pulls him close to his side. They both pullhim upwards and Tyler eventually manages to stand. He sets his foot to the ground, just to test it and it feels so weak. "Ow." 

"Don't do that man." Jordan tells him, not faltering his grip.

Tyler sighs.

They struggle to get him to the van, he jumps on his good leg for the most part. The entirety of Josh's family end up helping get their gear together. Which Tyler appreciates a lot. There's a lot to be packed up and it would take Josh, Mark and Michael longer than usual without him. 

Jordan stays with him. Jordan ends up helping him get up and onto the mattress. The problem is that's it's elevated off of the bottom of the van, Tyler can't jump up properly. No words are exchanged as Jordan gives him a boost up and lifts him so he can crawl inside of the van and sit down on the mattress. Tyler wonders why Jordan's helping him instead of Josh, but he doesn't linger on the thought.

"You good?" Jordan asks, eyes blinking in the dark. Sweat light across the bridge of his nose.

Tyler shifts to the left and wiggles around until he gets comfortable. "Yeah." He grunts when he rotates his foot. "Is there any chance you have ibuprofen?"

"Nope." Jordan sighs and crawls into the van after Tyler's sitting properly. "Any extra pillows?" He looks around, but it's hard to see in the dark.

Tyler nods and points to a pillow hidden under the blanket. "Grab me that red one." It's Mark's.

Jordan does and instead of passing it over,  he gestures to Tyler's leg. Tyler rolls his eyes and lifts his leg up, hands gripping around his knee to lift it properly. He lets Jordan push the pillow underneath his injury and place the bag of ice on top of it, Tyler groans. "Okay?" Jordan asks cautiously. 

"Yeah," Tyler leans back. "thanks, man."

Jordan sits on his knees, hands on his thighs. His hair grazes the roof of the van. "Um," He breathes out. "I'll be right back."

"Sure." He stares at his foot, curls his toes. This sucks.

Jordan leaves. 

15 minutes later, he comes back with Mark and they're laughing as they throw open the back of the van, Mark mentions something about Josh's dad taking over their crew and dismissing him to go look after Tyler. Tyler's not sure if he believes it but he doesn't particularly care as long as they can leave on time with all of their gear in tact.

*

It's nearly midnight by the time they're ready to go and get on the road towards Chicago. Tyler is covered in blankets, ankle throbbing in its wrap and Michael is beside him, eating some leftover taco bell when Josh's family comes to say bye. 

His parents wish him well and his sisters do the same.

Jordan is the last one to leave. "Take it easy." He says to Tyler. 

"I will." He pops a french fry into his mouth. Jordan backs away and leans against the van. "Bye guys." 

"Bye Jordan." Mark shouts from the front.

Tyler nods at him, Michael waves and Josh crawls over towards him on the mattress and pulls his brother into a hug before whispering something into his ear that makes him laugh, Josh smiles and let's go of him. "Bye Jordy."

 

*

 

Tyler's ankle throbs the next day, but that doesn't stop the show. He performs like he always does and by the time they're done, he's limping, just as he had the day before.

Josh is unimpressed. "Maybe Mark's right about the wheelchair." He says, practically carrying all of Tyler's body weight as they walk to the van together. 

"It was a good show." Tyler says quietly, leaning into him a little more. 

"Yeah," Josh smiles at him, kisses him temple. "It was."

 

*

 

Months later, Tyler's in the van.

He's driving, he's always driving. They're coming back from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and there's a good 5 hours left until they're home. He always ends up stuck doing the longer drives, Mark claims to get motion sickness, Michael speeds and Josh, well he's an okay driver but it's not something that he particularly enjoys so Tyler, who actually likes driving, is tonight's driver. 

Tonight he dislikes it though, his hands are warm against the steering wheel and his body is tired from the show they played just 5 hours ago. The adrenaline has long worn off and now he feels half-dead. Still, he pushes forward and drives and drives and drives, eyes steady on the road, mind focused on how nice it's going to be to go home and sleep in a bed instead of on a mattress in the back of their van. 

In the back of the van on said mattress, Michael and Mark snore and in the front Tyler stares at the road and Josh stares at his phone with burning eyes. 

Josh is texting someone, his thumbs are tapping away against his phone's keyboard, which is somewhat unusual because Josh prefers to call, which is why Tyler is curious. And to Tyler's annoyance, Josh hasn't bothered to turn off his volume and to Tyler's annoyance, he can hear every single tap and it's giving him a migraine.

Eventually—from Tyler's peripheral vision— thanks to the light coming from Josh's phone, he sees him yawn, a hand over his mouth and he sees Josh shut his eyes for a moment right before the sound of him shutting his phone's screen can be heard.

Who were you texting? ends up coming out as; "You okay?" He looks at him but Josh, despite looking tired, smiles and Tyler burns because Josh's smile could kill him. 

Josh tilts his head back. "Yeah." He yawns for a second time and Tyler's inclined to yawn back, but he catches himself before it happens. 

"How do you feel about Jordan coming to our next show?"

"Your little brother?" Tyler asks, he hasn't seen him since he sprained his ankle and asking for Josh to specify is dumb, so dumb because Tyler's well aware that Josh is talking about his brother.

Josh shifts in his seat a bit, resting his phone on the dashboard, Tyler hopes he's going to leave it there for the rest of the drive. "Not just to watch, he's done that plenty of times. He just wants me help with the set up apparently, be my drum tech." 

"Does he know how?"

"He's fine at it, I taught him how for the most part. But, sometimes I swear he knows more then me even though he can't drum, at all." He tells him, wiggling around in his seat before pausing at what Tyler assumes is the most comfortable position he can get into.

He wants to hesitate, as much as he likes help, there's a certain way he likes doing thing, but he trusts Josh and if Jordan fucks up, Tyler can just fix it. "Then sure," Tyler shrugs, pausing for a moment before continuing. "We can't afford to pay him though, we're broke as is." 

"He knows." Josh yawns, again and this time Tyler yawns immediately after.

 

*

 

At home Tyler sleeps until he can't anymore, after playing 3 consecutive shows thanks to a very lucky scheduling issue on Tyler's part, he's not sure how he's even capable of doing anything else. His body morphs into his bed and he sinks like an anchor.

Michael is the only reason he's able to get up for work for the entire week after they get back home. In the mornings, he's like an alarm clock, except louder and more annoying. He bangs his fists on Tyler's door and Tyler shoots out of bed the moment he hears it. 

He craves the weekend, because the weekend is when they get to go on stage, where he feels alive and if he could he'd quit his job and just play shows with Josh. And he knows that one day they will, just not now.

 

*

 

On Saturday morning, they end up on the front porch of Josh's parents house. Jordan greets them all with a hug, one of those quick bro hugs. Clenched hands, a pull and a grip around shoulders. Mark and Michael welcome it with smiles and hey dude, how are you? and Josh, nearly tackles him to the ground with the force of his hug. The only type of hug Tyler is accustomed to and doesn't hate.

Tyler wants to refuse, so he falters when Jordan comes around to him.

"Hey man." Jordan is smiling. 

Tyler smiles back. "Jordan."

"No hug?" Somehow, he knows to ask him. Jordan is looking at him, soft, warm. The guys are all piling into the van, he can hear Josh laughing.

"I don't like hugs."

"Okay."  Jordan says, indifferent. Tyler stares, Jordan keeps the eye contact.

"So high five?"

Tyler blinks, before nodding. That he can do. "Sure."

They miss. Tyler hits Jordan's elbow in the come down and Jordan grazes his arm.

Jordan laughs. "Damn."

Tyler breaks out into a grin. "That sucked."

"Do we try again?"

They try again, Tyler's hand stings.

 

*

 

In the van, somehow he ends up on the mattress with both Josh and Jordan. Mark is driving, Michael is in the passenger seat, humming along to the radio.

Tyler has earbuds in but his music is a whisper in his ears. He had been feeling a bit excluded, which he's kind of okay with now because he hasn't been actively trying to be a part of the conversation. Instead he's just listening to them talk, secretly because he's not opposed to eavesdropping.

"See, look how cool this is." Jordan is showing Josh something his phone, grinning at the screen, he scrolls, scrolls, scrolls with his thumb.

"And you actually make money doing this?" Josh asks,and Tyler recognizes the tone, it's the one he uses when he's amazed. Tyler nearly snorts, but he keeps quiet and breathes into his pillow.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna die out eventually but, for now it's pretty okay."

"That's cool." Josh says. And Tyler knows he means it.

"It's kind of chaotic but," Jordan pauses for a moment."amazon stores aren't that hard to manage. It's easy money." Jordan chatters away about it and Tyler knows that Josh is just sitting there being a good brother and listening because he's actually interested.

When Jordan quiets down, he says something along the lines of wanting something with more of a schedule, something more reliable and Tyler's not at all surprised by Josh's suggestion. He'd offer the same thing to any of his siblings. He is however, surprised by the amount of faith Josh has in their band.

"If you ever need a more permanent job," Josh is picking at his stubble. Tyler pauses his music, stops breathing. Josh continues. "Hit me up when this whole band thing takes off a little more yeah?" 

Jordan nods, he grins. "I'd like that."

They chatter away. Tyler breathes out.

Having Jordan on tour wouldn't be too bad.

 

*

 

In the afternoon, Tyler is grateful for the extra pair of hands. They unload faster and the heavy lifting isn't as heavy as usual.

Jordan doesn't even complain.

Michael asks him to haul in a good hundred pounds in stage equipment, no hesitation, Jordan does it.

Josh needs help bringing in his drums, Jordan is doing most of the heavy lifting and he looks happy about it.

Tyler doesn't know what to make of it. And usually he wouldn't notice all these things, but their dynamic of four has been broken and Tyler can't help but concentrate on how different it feels to have another person, specifically such a content willing person helping them. They've had friends help them before too but hejust can't stop looking over at Jordan.

Eventually, it's time to haul in the piano and normally, Michael would help him roll it in but instead Jordan pops over and asks hey Tyler do you want a hand? And Tyler has half the mind to say no, but he sighs out a yes because god do his arms hurt and he really wants to get this over and done with.

So Jordan helps and he's fucking smiling as he does it. Tyler has never seen someone smile as they lift and manoeuvre heavy instruments around. But he smiles and maybe he grunts a bit when the piano gets stuck in the hallway and maybe he says crap instead of fuck when he stubs his toe but it's endearing if anything. Tyler doesn't know why he finds it endearing. 

When the piano is safely secured on stage, Tyler's out of breath. 

"Thanks Jordan." Tyler stretches his arms, one across his chest, his hand cradles his elbow. "I appreciate it."

"No problem." Jordan smiles and readjusts the piano a bit. Tyler reaches out to touch it, he doesn't know why but he feels possessive of his piano despite Jordan's finger tips just grazing the keys. "I've been meaning to ask, how's your ankle?" 

"Josh didn't tell you?"

"He did." Jordan says, moving around to sit on the piano bench, he presses down on an E#. "Is it all healed now?"

"Yeah," Tyler can't help but instinctively flex his foot and stretch out his ankle at the reminder. "It's really good, no pain. It wasn't a break or anything."

Jordan teases him. "Yeah but, when it's really bad, it can hurt for up to 6 weeks and be sensitive for months." 

"Well it wasn't that bad." Tyler insists, he lies. It was bad, he'd kept his ankle wrapped for two weeks and even now, he's cautious about it. Scared to injure it again. He'd allowed himself the week to heal, but on the weekends when they had shows, he tended to fuck up his ankle every show. Luckily, now it's fully healed, mostly anyways. Sometimes it still aches but he never limps and it's never bad enough to really put him off.

"Sure." Jordan smiles. "So i'm currently learning something new, want to know about it?"

"Not really." Tyler says, just to be an asshole. He doesn't really know Jordan, but because he's Josh's brother. He figures there's no point in not knowing him.

"I'm doing woodwork." Jordan tells him, smiling as he does so. Tyler wishes he'd stop, he has one of those contagious smiles like Josh. "Building stuff."

"Oh." Tyler hides his amused grin behind his hand, the Dun's always get him. "That's cool man." 

"I made myself a coffee table." Jordan presses some more piano keys. Tyler watches, entranced. "It's kind of crap but," He shrugs. "I'm still working on it."

"Don't you live with your parents?"

"I'm moving out next month." Jordan says and steps away from Tyler's piano. Tyler has no idea how old he is. Tyler imagines he's probably 19.

"And you do all this in their house?" Tyler asks, pressing his hands to the shell around his piano. 

"Oh no," Jordan laughs, soft, sweet. He shakes his head. "No. They'd never let me do that in the house unless I worked in our backyard or something. My friend rents out this workshop and he's been letting me use it, get more familiar with the equipment."

"Hey! Jordan," That's Josh. Tyler looks over. He's got his kick drum in his arms, hugging it. Definitely about to drop it if he doesn't put it down soon. Tyler smiles at him. Josh smiles back before his eyes are averted on Jordan's. 

"Yeah?" Jordan turns.

"Come help me out, please." Josh sets down the kick drum. Jordan turns back around, adjusting his beanie on his head when they make eye contact. 

He gives Tyler a little apologetic smile, and Tyler doesn't bother returning it because he doesn't understand the point of it. There's nothing to be apologetic about at the moment. He nods him off though and twists around. 

He has work to do. They both do.

 

*

 

Tyler doesn't jump off the piano tonight. Maybe it's Jordan's reminder of the sensitivity of his injury, but he's careful, for once. 

He sits on his piano and runs around the stage, but even when he's standing on the piano, dancing during Holding Onto You, he doesn't jump off. He sits back down and then slides off. 

The show is great.

Jordan meets him and Josh backstage. He hugs Josh, Josh who's wet with sweat. He pulls away, grimacing. "Gross." His nose wrinkles.

Josh laughs.

Then, Jordan turns and lifts his hand, waiting for a high five. Tyler complies, their hands both sting. He doesn't ask to hug him. "That was so good man," He's holding a water bottle and doesn't hesitate to hand it to Tyler. Tyler appreciates it and downs half of it.

"Why does he get water?" Josh asks, faking a pout as he pulls his snapback off his head. He looks like he just got out of the shower, he needs a towel. 

Tyler shrugs. "I'm the lead singer."

Jordan snorts. 

Josh grabs the water bottle from his hand. "I'm the lead drummer." He looks at Jordan and takes a sip of water. "I'm also your brother." He wipes his mouth. 

"Guess I just like Tyler better." Jordan tells him. Tyler looks at him for a moment, it's a _joke_. He laughs, Jordan barely knows him.

"Exactly." Tyler grins. "Jordan is the better Dun." Tyler presses a hand to Josh's shoulder, shakes his head. "Sorry."

Josh drinks the rest of the water but he's smiling, warm, happy. "Now that's just a lie."

"Believe what you want." Jordan is smiling too. Tyler keeps his gaze on Josh.

 

*

 

Tyler and Josh both quit their jobs a month before they get signed to Fueled By Ramen. The fan base has become bigger, the shows more frequent, the money more steady. They can afford to rely solely on their music. Tyler brings it up one day and Josh agrees, which isn't a surprise considering Josh quit his last job to play his first show with twenty one pilots. And now he's doing it so he can play hundreds of shows without worrying about a second job. This is it. Tyler feels no guilt when he gives his two week notice. This is it.

Next they get signed. It's a big moment, it's a shocking moment. Josh kisses him that night, their first kiss, their only kiss. He asks first. Josh is a gentleman and Josh is really fucking happy but to be fair, so is Tyler.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks quietly, his leg is shaking, clearly nervous to be asking. They're back in their hotel room and Mark and Michael are gonna be there soon to pick them up to go out for drinks.

Tyler turns, buttoning the last button of his shirt. "What?" 

"It's platonic." Josh assures him, sitting on the very edge of Tyler's bed. And for a second Tyler's unsure, what if it's not? What if they kiss and Tyler realizes his feelings go deeper than he thought they did? 

Still, it's a big moment. They're signed, a kiss to seal the deal or whatever doesn't sound unreasonable.

Even with all his hesitations and worries, he says. "Okay." 

It just feels like another part of their relationship. They kiss, very gently, no tongue, just gentle pressure. Josh's thumb brushes his jaw, Tyler holds onto his shoulders.

Josh smiles. Tyler smiles. "Still platonic?"

"Yeah,"

And Tyler doesn't have an epiphany. He loves Josh just like he always has.

Nothing changes.

They celebrate.

 

*

 

They're given access to a proper studio and producers and really whatever they need and they take advantage of it. They spend the rest of 2012 working on their first studio album. They end up in LA, Tyler hates it, Josh loves it. They make music—Good music—and video call their families every other day.

Sure enough, the band takes off early 2013 after they release vessel. Their van gets an upgrade, to a slightly bigger red van and the crew gets bigger too. Tyler is childhood friends with nearly everyone they get on the road with them; Ben, Jordan Snider, Tyler Shap and Michael's brother, Michael and Mark. That just make it better. There's a level of harmony between everyone apart of this now, which is why when Josh wants to hire Jordan to come on tour with them. Tyler says yes immediately because he knows he'll mesh well with everyone else. He'd shown up to a few shows during their winter tour and worked a bit, no pay, and it leaves no question in Tyler's mind that he wants him on tour.

Jordan officially joins the crew for their Trip For Concerts Autumn tour and by then, they have a tour bus. Jordan hasn't seen it yet. The last time he'd seen them they had their van, so when Josh shows up with Jordan in tow, Jordan eyes widen upon seeing the giant bus. 

"Hey Tyler." His hair is covered by a beanie. 

Tyler smiles at him. "Hey man."

 

They high five like they're children. It's an unspoken agreement at this point.

Josh gives them a curious look and Tyler pretends not to notice it. He's being friendly, trying to be nicer to people, trying to make friends with Jordan. 

Jordan moves forward and looks up at the bus. "Holy crap," That had been Tyler's reaction too, Tyler feels warm. "Mind if I walk around a bit?" Jordan asks, pulling his beanie off his head before shoving it into his pocket.

"Go for it." Josh tells him, he follows him. Tyler does the same, he keeps his hands in his pockets and listens to Josh tell Jordan about how they got the bus in the first place.

They walk up and down the length of it and then do one turn around it. Jordan looks at the tires, Jordan touches the handle to open the storage, Jordan smiles, Jordan laughs. "This is so cool,"

"Yeah?" There's some hope for validation in the way Josh asks. And Tyler wants to be the one to give it to him but he knows that Josh wants Jordan to look up to him, be impressed, inspired. 

Jordan smiles. "Can I see inside?" He asks, adjusting the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder.

"Want a tour?" Josh asks, slick. Tyler rolls his eyes. He's been dying to show off the bus to someone who hasn't grown used to it yet. The majority of the crew had seen it the day they got the bus. Jordan's excitable and amazed, perfect candidate.

Jordan nods. "Yeah dude."

 

*

 

Tyler leaves them alone until Josh is done showing him around. Well aware that it's something Josh wants to do by himself. Be a good big brother, support Jordan, show him how far he's come. It's natural to want to impress your family.

By the look of awe on Jordan's face. He's impressed. The bus tour doesn't last long considering there's not that much to show. Tyler stays on the couch, scrolling through his twitter as he half listens to a Josh tell Jordan bus rules. Josh also shows him the fridge, that's empty, the cupboards, which are also empty and basically, now that Tyler thinks of it. Most of the bus is really empty. This is the first time they've used this bus in particular. It's new. They'd just been on tour with Fall Out Boy and Panic ! At The Disco, and it's not like they'd gotten to keep the bus they'd been on. This one is fully theirs.

When they're done they come back to the main living area, Tyler stands, slides his phone into his pocket and asks. "Want to choose your bunk?" Josh furrows his eyebrows but says nothing despite Tyler knowing exactly what he wants to say. They'd both agreed to wait for everyone before deciding on bunk spots.

"Now?"

Tyler shrugs. "Yeah man." 

"Okay." Jordan looks to Josh. "Did you already choose yours?"

Once again, he gives Tyler a curious look. "Yea."

"C'mon." Tyler leads him towards the back, letting his hand graze along the curtains of the bunks. He stops, mid hallway. Jordan bumps into him but is quick to take a step back.

"What's left?" He asks. The lighting back here is awful, either too dark or too light. Right now he can only just make out Jordan and Josh's features.

"Nothing's really set in stone yet." Tyler shrugs. It's a half lie. It's a new tour, last tour bus they were on everyone had a designated spot. This time they'd already agreed to switch everything around. "Pull back the curtains, if there's not a bag there. Then it's free." The only bags so far are his and Josh's but he doesn't bother mentioning it.

Jordan starts looking through the bunks.

"Tyler-" Josh starts, his voice quiet.

"What's up?" Tyler asks, maybe it's a bit weird that he's letting Jordan have first pick. He usually gathers the crew and has them battle it out in a super mario kart game. Josh wants to say something, Tyler knows he does, except he doesn't.

"W-" _hat_ _are_ _you_ _doing_? Tyler expects it but Josh pauses, so Tyler frowns but Josh just shakes his head with a tiny little huff. He leans against the doorway, glancing at his brother who's made it to the last few bunks. "Nothing, _never_ _mind_." He smiles, it's reassuring. Tyler breathes slowly. "I'm gonna go grab some food. Want anything?"

"Sure. You know what I like."

Josh smiles, he knows everything about him. He turns around and gets Jordan's attention. "You hungry?"

He shakes his head, on his tip toes as he looks through one of the top bunks. "No I ate before we left."

Josh nods at him and looks at Tyler. "I'll be back." Josh puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. Tyler can't quite describe how he feels.

Jordan chooses a middle bunk, he says something about it seeming less dangerous than being all the way on top or even just at the bottom. He also chooses the one right across from Tyler's. Tyler doesn't bothering asking if Jordan's aware of it. It doesn't matter.

 

*

 

They leave the day before tour starts. Loading everything up takes an hour and making sure they have everything they need takes another hour. Tyler makes everyone double check their things before they take off and once they finally leave Columbus for Nashville, he relaxes.

Josh and Jordan are napping, everyone else is lounging around the main area of the bus. Lounging around on the couch or benches. Mark sets up the nintendo when Michael says he wants to take a nap. "We haven't picked out our beds yet."

"Not this again." Michael shakes his head.

"It's fun." Tyler smiles. He and Josh have opted out of this and just decided to choose their bunks but when the idea of playing video games to decide who has first pick had been brought up last tour, no one had really been against it.

"Okay we need Jordan." Shap looks around.

"Jordan already picked his bunk," Tyler murmurs, not taking his eyes off the screen of the TV.

No one says anything about the fact that Jordan got special treatment.

Mark just says. "The rest of us still need to battle it out though."

Everyone agrees to it, despite the option of talking out sleeping arrangements is there.

Michael gets the bunk closest to the bathroom.

 

*

In Nashville, Tyler wakes up to his bunks curtain being open. It's dark, but there's a phone flashlight in his face.

 "No." Tyler groans, hiding his face in his pillow.

 Josh pokes his forehead. "Get up, we have stuff to do."

In Nashville, the crowd makes him smile and the crowd makes him jump. It's a good start to the autumn tour.

 

*

 

There's a routine after each show, most of the guys follow it; Pack up, get food, eat, hang out for a bit, then go to sleep.

 Tyler's is different; pack up, get food, eat, go to sleep and then wake up at 3AM and go play video games alone with the volume off.

He can't sleep so he drags himself out of bed every night and sits on the couch, blanket around him as his eyes focus on the TV. Sometimes he'll play Call Of Duty, sometimes he'll play Super Smash bro's or Donkey Kong. He's played all of the video games they brought on the road already.

He's alone for the first 3 nights of this. No one usually wakes up at this hour. He knows eventually Josh or one of the other guys will fall into this routine with him but for now he's alone.

 For some reason when Jordan shuffles to the kitchen, grabs a bottle of water from the mini fridge and settles down beside him one night, he isn't surprised. It makes sense for him to be the one.

 "What's up?" Jordan's voice is raspy from sleep, he's all scruffy. Tyler's heart burns. He's just—Tyler doesn't even know what to think of him.

Instead of replying, he stands and shuffles around, searching for the second remote. He knows that he's in nothing but briefs and a T-Shirt he stole from Josh, but he doesn't care. And when he turns, remote in hand and sees that Jordan's eyes are a lot lower than they should be. He doesn't care. He suddenly feels a lot warmer. He passes him the remote. "Want to play?"

Jordan's eyes brighten, There's something there. Tyler doesn't know what it is yet though. "Yeah, sure."

"Cool." Tyler sits down beside him instead of going back into the little corner of the couch he had been sitting on. There's no reason for them to be sitting as close as they are but Tyler can't bring himself to move.

 

*

 

His routine changes.

Jordan joins him at night now. Not every night, but once a week he'll be up and come sit beside him, close, as close as Josh does and play video games with him. Sometimes he'll just watch. Tyler looks forward to it. He starts grabbing an extra blanket when he gets out of bed just in case Jordan decides to make an appearance.

 Tonight, Tyler's just settled on the hard cushions of the couch when he hears footsteps and a curtain being drawn. He's hopeful for it to be Jordan, who else would it be? And he's relieved when it is him but when he sees him. Tyler's chest burns.

Jordan isn't wearing a shirt, his chest is on full display, dark chest hair against pale skin. Tyler has to remind himself to breathe. He has a silver chain around his neck. Tyler doesn't let his eyes roam, he maintains eye contact.

"Can't sleep?" Tyler asks, his voice raspy, he hides behind his redbull as he takes a sip. 

Jordan scratches his head and yawns before shuffling over and taking the spot beside Tyler on the ouch. Tyler tried not to let himself tense up. "Not really." He  coughs into his arm and then grabs one of the blankets Tyler had brought out for him and wraps it around his torso. Tyler thanks god in his head. "Josh is on the phone, whispering and the guys are all awake back there so, I came out here."

"I'm not surprised." Tyler talks quietly. Thumbing over the top of his redbull can. "Our sleep schedules are all getting kinda messy.” He narrows his eyes on Jordan.

Jordan yawns as he nods, it's cute. "Are you up to play?"

"Honestly was just planning to eat." Tyler admits. Carefully turning and pushing himself up onto his feet. "Want some cereal?" He asks, examining Jordan's facial expression.

"Do we have captain crunch?" The blanket he's been holding around him, slips down his shoulders.

Tyler hums his answer and turns back around quickly, too quickly. He sighs and he hears some shifting behind him but busies himself with finding bowls and spoons. He finds them hidden behind rolls of paper towel and pulls out two plastic bowls and spoons. The rest he does quickly, eager to sit back down because his legs hurt, eager to eat because he's hungry. He leaves some cereal on the counter and maybe a splash of milk but he figures he can clean it up in the morning.

To Tyler's luck, Jordan has the blanket tight around him when he turns back around. It's cold in here at night so Tyler wonders why he has his shirt off in the first place. Still he doesn't bother asking questions, that would be weird, so he just hands him his cereal and sits back down.

"Thanks." He smiles and then nearly drops it. " _Woah_." Jordan steadies the bowl, both hands holding it this time. A piece of captain crunch rolls to the floor. Neither of them make a move to pick it up. Tyler decides that that's another thing that can be put off until later.

It's quiet at first. He can hear the guys in the next room, some talking, some laughter. Tyler prefers this but he can't bring himself to try to speak even though he wants to talk to Jordan. Jordan who keeps yawning as he eats and shifting around to get more comfortable. Tyler starts to yawn too. 

When Jordan's nearly done eating, he ends the silence. "So not only do I had a bad sleeping schedule but now I have bad eating habits too."

Tyler snorts, shoves his spoon into his bowl. "Yeah." He nods, taking another bite. "You'll get used to it."

"I like it here." Jordan tells him, he leans down and places his bowl, drained of milk and cereal, on the floor.

Tyler looks at him. "Yeah?"

"It's a good environment." Jordan says, coming back to sit properly. He pulls his legs onto the couch and sits with them crossed, his hand resting on his blanket covered knees. "I feel like i'm learning a lot already."

"Is it weird to thank you for letting me be apart of this?"

"You're welcome." Tyler rolls his eyes and gathers his last bite of captain crunch onto his spoon. "Never thought i'd be getting all sentimental while eating cereal but I guess there's a first time for everything."

Jordan's laugh is sleepy, but it goes up to his eyes. He shakes his head and hides the bottom half of his face behind his blanket.

"But seriously, it's cool to have you man. Tours just started and you really help make things work around here."

 "Do I?"

Tyler quirks a small smile. "Yeah. Josh needs you. We all do. Everyone on the team is important."

"To be honest," Jordan says. "That makes me feel really good about myself."

 "Good."

They stay up for a few more minutes before Jordan decides he's actually tired and should probably go to bed before he really ruins his sleeping schedule. He even ends up cleaning up his mess in the kitchen and the stray pieces of cereal on the floor. Which Tyler appreciates until he gives him the blanket back and staring at his chest becomes nearly unavoidable. Tyler keeps his eyes closed until Jordan tells him goodnight.

 

 

*

 

They're back in Ohio for their 8th and 9th show, not Columbus, but Cincinnati. They have 3 hotel rooms booked. 2 double beds in each. Tyler shares with Josh,Jordan gets the other bed to himself.

Before soundcheck Josh shows up, skateboard under his arm.

 "Want to come skateboarding with me and Jordan?"

He hates that the fact that Jordan going with them is the only incentive he needs to say yes. "Yes." He sits up, stretching his arms above his head. 

"Really?" Josh looks unconvinced and Tyler feels bad, just in the slightest.

Tyler nods. "I'll probably just watch but, yeah i'll come."

They just go to the back of the venue. Tyler sits on the ground and watches Josh and Jordan skate circles around each other.

Eventually Jordan approaches him. "Are you not bored?" He stops in front of him.

Tyler gives him a little smile. "Nah dude, it's cool. I don't know how to do any of this so it's kind of entertaining."

"Do you want to learn?" Tyler wouldn't mind Jordan being his teacher.

 Josh stops beside them then. "Last time I tried to teach him he got frustrated cause he wasn't good at it right away." 

"Shut up." Tyler smacks his knee.

Josh pats his head and skateboards away.

Jordan laughs. "Maybe when we have a bit more time I can teach you, Josh sucks at it."

"Sure."

He skates away too and Tyler yawns.

 

*

 

At night, he and Josh are wrapped around each other. Arms tangled, legs hooked together. This is comfortable and Tyler loves him, he loves him so much.

 

*

 

This is the biggest tour they've ever done and Tyler finally feels settled into it once they reach the end of November. He and Jordan play video games while everyone sleeps, he and Josh put on great showsevery night and everyone eats like shit. It's tour. Tyler loves it.

They go home for one day, on thanksgiving.

His mom asks him how Josh is doing.

"Great." Tyler smiles.

His mom and his dad seem to expect him to continue. Tyler wipes his mouth with a napkin. "Josh still isn't my boyfriend."

"Alright."

And that's it. They don't ask him if he's interested in anyone and they don't dare mention his ex-girlfriend Jenna. His parents move along and start asking Zack questions about Tatum.

Next day, they have a show in Cleveland. He's glad to be back.

He gives Josh a big hug when he sees him, a tight one, arms around his waist, head against his chest. Josh wraps his arms around him and holds him until Tyler pulls away. Josh already knows about his relationship with his family, well aware that it's not bad but it's not great either. He doesn't ask questions, he knows what Tyler needs.

When he sees Jordan, it's just a few minutes later. Jordan offers him a high five. And Tyler, hesitates, he wants more than a high five.

"How about a hug?" Tyler asks, adjusting his hat on top of his head. "I think we've made it to the hugging stage of our friendship." He likes Josh's hugs, he wants to like Jordan's just as much. 

"I thought you didn't like hugs man?"

Tyler smiles. "I don't."

 No questions asked, Jordan brings him in for a hug and it's not a bro hug, it's an actual proper hug. The type of hug that makes Tyler feel weak. Tyler goes for his waist, one hand on his lower back, the other on his upper back and Jordan goes for his shoulders and wraps his arms around his neck. It's safe. Tyler holds onto him and counts to ten before releasing.

Jordan is smiling when he steps back, his touch lingers, hand trailing down his arm until it's back by his side. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Tyler sniffs, his nose red, cold. "Let's get on the bus."

 Jordan leads the way.

 

*

 

During the day, Jordan hangs around him after he's done being Josh's drum tech.

 Somethings different.

 Jordan's sat on top of his piano with his legs crossed, when Tyler comes back from having lunch with everyone else.

"I hope you know we're about to start soundcheck and i'm going to need you to get off." Tyler says, getting behind his piano and sliding onto his bench.

"Got bored." Jordan shrugs, he shows Tyler his 3DS. Waves it around before bringing at back and leaning over so he can see.

"Is that my DS?" Tyler asks. Doesn't bother getting upset because he's been letting Jordan use it at night anyways. Letting him bring it with him to is bunk. 

"Yeah." Jordan passes him his 3DS. Tyler touches it carefully. "Want to play?" Hopeful, his eyes are bright.

 "Dude," Tyler shakes his head, laughs and passes it back. "I have soundcheck, go bother Josh." 

Jordan shrugs. "Want to play later?" He suggests, making eye contact. He says it like they don't hang out anyways. Tyler frowns. "After the show?"

 "If i'm not sleeping."

Jordan just laughs and hops off his piano.

 

*

 

Tyler stays up until 2am but he's not alone with Jordan. He's not alone at all. Everyone is still awake.

The guys are doing a 1000 piece puzzle and Josh is tucked into his side texting some girl from back home. Tyler keeps glancing at Jordan. He's working on finding the corner pieces and Tyler kind of wants to get up and help him. Instead he focuses on Josh.

"Who are you texting?" Tyler whispers, Josh's hair tickles his nose. He needs to concentrate on something else, someone other than Jordan.

"Remember Jenna?" Josh asks, his voice is just above a whisper. 

Tyler frowns. "My ex-girlfriend, Jenna?"

Josh smiles. "Yeah." His thumb pauses and he looks up at Tyler, concerned. "That's okay right? That I still talk to her?"

"Uh yeah, I still talk to her too. We were all close." Their breakup had been amicable and really, they just didn't work together which is something that Tyler's come to accept since it happened. They weren't meant for each other. When they had been together, her and Josh had been close. Tyler's not surprised, or bothered. He can't be.

 Josh sighs, Tyler knows it's out of relief. "What about you?"

Tyler hums, glances at Jordan again, Jordan's already looking. Tyler smiles at him. "What about me?"

"Are you going to tell me why you're constantly staring at my brother anytime soon?”

Tyler averts his eyes back to Josh's. "I don't do that."

Josh lays his head back down on his shoulder and murmurs. "Sure." Under his breath. 

"Tell Jenna I say hi."

 Josh does.

 

*

 

Tomorrow, Jordan is the first person he sees when he wakes up. Jordan brings him breakfast in bed, or technically, in bunk. Its a breakfast taco with some kind of smoothie on the side.

 "I didn't know what you liked." He tells him, sipping some chocolate milk with a straw. "I had to guess. Josh wouldn't tell me."

Tyler snorts and sits up before pushing back his bunks curtain a bit more. "Thank you."

Jordan passes him his breakfast. "No problem."

 

*

 

The next few shows pass quickly, one after the other. They're all memorable, but it's fast, everything is fast and on his birthday, they're in Pittsburg. They go out for dinner a few hours before the show. Josh organizes everything. It's like this every time their birthdays pass, Tyler organizes something for Josh and Josh organizes something for Tyler's.

 They sing him happy birthday and on stage that night, the crowd sings him happy birthday too.

Tyler has never felt more embarrassed.

 

*

 

It's 2am again and it's just him and Jordan and technically their bus driver who are awake. They're on their way to New York, it's been over a month since they got on the road and apparently he and Josh are dating.

It's not a surprise but at the same time, Tyler's surprised that Jordan is the one to mention it. He ends up pausing his game of Mario Kart 64 and looking over at him. "What?"

"Everyone suspects it." Jordan tells him between yawns, his voice is quiet and he stretches out on the couch beside Tyler. Tyler watches his shirt ride up past his belly button. He stares at wiry dark hair. "Dunno why, since you've always been the same together. Feel like you would've said something by now if it were true."

Tyler raises an eyebrow and averts his eyes. "Who's everyone?"

"The crew," Jordan starts to sit up, hair a mess, cheeks reddened, Tyler can see it even in the dark. He reaches for the soft blanket covering his feet and pulls it into his lap to wrap around himself. "They gossip."

 Tyler frowns. "I find it hard to believe my friends are gossiping about me."

 "When I say they think you're dating, I mean, they think you've been,,, y'know...." Jordan trails off awkwardly. He turns away a bit, scratching his head.

"Fucking?" Tyler blurts out. Sex. Their friends think they've been having sex, which is, again, not the most shocking thing Tyler's heard, he kind of already knew. He knows what it looks like. He and Josh are together more times then not, they cuddle, they kiss each other on the cheeks, they never stop touching. It makes sense.

"Um, yeah. Something about, doing it for warmth when you guys had the van and never ending it after that."

Tyler giggles, can't help himself. He hides his laughter behind his hand. Jordan joins him but Tyler can't tell if it's because he feels awkward or because he actually finds it funny. "Huh," He breathes out. "I'm not with your brother. Josh and I, we've never done anything together besides like, cuddle."

"But you know that already," Tyler turns to look at him. "Yeah?"

"I assumed." Jordan tilts his head and leans back a bit, avoiding eye contact. "So you and Josh aren't doing anything?"

"Did you actually think we were?" Tyler asks, surprised. Out of everyone, he'd have expected Josh's own brother to know wether or not they were actually together. Tyler shakes his head. "Josh likes my ex-girlfriend, Jenna." Tyler smiles.

Jordan's eyes soften, he leans forward a bit. "And that's okay with you?"

 "If they got together, I'd be happy about it."

There's silence for a moment and Tyler assumes the moments over. He grabs his remote again, Jordan shifts closer to him.

"Am I pushing a boundary if I ask you about your sexuality?" Jordan asks suddenly, he looks in his direction but doesn't make full eye contact, never does.  Tyler can tell he's nervous.

He's tempted to say yes, but just as tempted to say no. "Why do you want to know?" He grabs the TV remote and mutes the sound. His attention goes to Jordan. He turns himself so they're facing each other, foot to foot. Tyler lets his socked feet rest on top of Jordan's. Jordan wiggles his toes.

"We're friends." He pushes a curl of dark hair out of his eye. "Friends talk."

"Okay." That's good enough for him. Tyler resists teasing him because this conversation is becoming more serious and so far, this is the only  serious conversation they've had. "I just like people," He rests his chin on the palm of his hand. "I don't really label myself. But gender isn't like, a factor for me I guess. If I like someone, I like them." He watches Jordan's face, watches his expression soften and his hand reach out but not quite touch him. Tyler doesn't move.

"So you've been with guys then?" Jordan's voice is low, wavering.

 His cheeks burn. "Yeah," Tyler chuckles and then lies back, resting his feet by Jordan's and letting his head rest on the arm of the couch. "Have you?" He shuts his eyes.

Theres some nervous laughter before Tyler gets his answer. "Yeah man. A few. I'm-" He pauses. "I'm just into guys."

Tyler breathes in, breathes out and rests his forearm over his shut eyes. "Do I get to ask you a question now?" 

He feels Jordan shift, hears him cough. "Go for it."

Sitting up is a struggle. He has no idea where he's going with this, no idea what he's supposed to be doing. He gets in front of him again, sitting with his legs crossed. Eye to eye, just to make it fair. And then;

Jordan leans forward and kisses him. It's a peck. It's over just as soon as it starts. Jordan pulls back like he's been hit.

" _Oh_." Tyler's breath hitches.

Jordan sits there, his shoulders fall, they rise. He has a foot on the ground ready to flee if there's a bad reaction. Scared. Tyler doesn't want that.

So he places a hand on his thigh, gentle and slow, maintaining eye contact the whole time, Jordan's adam's apple bobs. Tyler moves his other hand to cup his jaw, thumb brushing over his stubble. Their lips hover. There's no reason and every reason to be scared.

Jordan's breath stutters against his lips. "I-"

Tyler hums, it's uneven, it's okay. "We're _okay_." he gives him a quick peck, he's shaking. " _We're_ _good_." and then he kisses him, properly and Jordan kisses him back. Tyler burns. Tyler holds him. It's gentle, so, so gentle, the pressure is soft. Jordan's lips are soft, sweet against his. Tyler thinks he may break if he kisses him him any harder, he feels like Jordan is made of glass. Jordan, who is trembling underneath him. Jordan who has his hand tight around his wrist but is not trying to get him to stop but is instead holding him there. 

He touches biceps and strong shoulders and his fingers curl into hair and Tyler can't stop touching him. "Fuck." Tyler can't breathe. He doesn't feel real, Tyler's expects his fingers to pass through him but they don't, they don't. It's real. The kiss is real, still gentle, still soft. Tyler pokes out his tongue, Jordan smiles.

Tyler thinks Jordan is less scared now but he still shakes, his touch isn't confident, it's tentative even when he pulls him closer by his shoulders and opens his mouth. Tyler does the same, slowly, gently. Their tongues touch, Tyler doesn't mean to, but he whimpers, it's quiet but he knows that Jordan hears him, he knows that Jordan feels him. A hand grips his waist, Jordan's mouth travels to his neck. 

He could cry, he might cry. He digs his nails into his skin. Jordan nips underneath his jaw.

Tyler breathes out, tilts his head up. "Do I ask my question now?" Jordan laughs, gentle, light against his skin. Tyler shivers. The hair on his arms stand tall.

 "Okay." Jordan pulls away, it's reluctant. No, no, no, no. Tyler leans closer, chases his mouth, Jordan's hand ends up on his peck. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Jordan," Tyler doesn't know wether he should laugh or cry. He kisses him, their teeth touch. Tyler wants him.

Jordan smiles, his cheeks are flushed. Tyler wants to kiss them. "I-Goodnight." He says, but makes no attempt to leave, he doesn't even shift.

"No." Tyler whispers. "No." He presses his forehead to his chest. Jordan's arms wrap around his torso, tight. "Stay."

"We should sleep." Jordan whispers, his fingers press against the back of Tyler's neck, his fingers pass through his hair. Tyler doesn't want it to end. He kisses him again, harder, Jordan gasps this time and Tyler leans over him, edging in on him, pulling him closer, pulling them together. Slowly, he gets him onto his back and he presses him down. He presses him down and he asks if it's okay, is it okay? and Jordan breathes and nods and Tyler lays on top of him and holds his hand and kisses him until he can't breathe. Bottom lip to top lip, over and over again. Tyler can't let go, he won't.

"Tyler." Jordan holds his jaw, his neck. His eyes worry. Jordan kisses his forehead, it's wet. Tyler loves it.

"Goodnight." Tyler rasps, he pecks his lips, his jaw, his chin. Standing is the hardest part, getting off of him. Not touching him. But he does it, and he uses Jordan's body as leverage so he can stand. He nearly falls over.

Jordan catches his arm. He's still laid out, legs spread, face flushed.

Tyler kisses the back of his hand and walks away before he can't anymore.

 *

 

Mark seems to know everything.

"So you and Jordan?" Mark asks this while they eat cereal across from each other.

Tyler can't breathe for a second, he tenses up, he nearly chokes on his cereal. "What do you mean?"

 "You're together? You're dating him right?"

"No." Tyler sighs. He doesn't know. Nothing's been spoken about yet.

Mark furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean by no?"

"I mean no-" Tyler takes a more aggressive bite of his waffle crisps. "we're just friends plus he's Josh's little brother.

"And?"

Tyler snorts, awkwardly looking away. "And you don't date your best friends little brother."

"Somehow I don't think Josh would mind."

Tyler glares at him. Mark rolls his eyes.

"Why do you think me and Jordan are dating?" Tyler's nervous, he hopes Mark can't tell despite the fact that Mark is one of his best friends and can read him nearly as well as Josh can. He wants to know if Mark saw them kiss.

"You've just been-" Mark looks at him, he's serious. "Look, Tyler he brings you food any chance he has, you're always looking at him or asking for him, you're always with him. You seem close, kind of like a couple. It's just an observation."

 "Friends." Tyler says. "Just friends." That kiss.

"Okay."

 

*

He doesn't talk to him all day. And it's not because he's avoiding him. He's busy, he wakes up and is immediately brought off the bus. They got there a few hours late because of a car accident on the highway and a road closure.

 He sees him everywhere though, and it's not awkward. They share glances across the stage, they smile at each other during soundcheck. It's not awkward. It eases Tyler's nerves.

Still, he's nervous and Josh pulls him aside. Josh knows him.

"What's going on?" He frowns, squeezing his shoulders.

"Something happened." 

"Okay." Josh nods and then pulls him into a hug, Tyler let's him, Tyler squeezes him tightly. "You don't have to tell me, but you know i'm here for you right?"

"I know." He whispers.

He feels Josh kiss the top of his head. "Okay."

 

*

 

After the show, they're at a hotel and he's sharing a room with Josh, Jordan and Mark. Josh and Mark went out for food, leaving him alone with Jordan. He suspects that it's intentional. They aren't idiots, they know. They know somethings up at least. Tyler doesn't know what to do and hasn't moved since they left. Jordan hasn't said anything about last night. It's like nothing happened.

Jordan's on the floor, on his back, legs hooked over the mattress of the bed, body in a type of L shape as he plays on his-Tyler's- 3Ds. His tongue poked out, he shifts around every few minutes, huffs. Tyler can't stop looking at him. He's cute. As is Josh, but Jordan's cute in a different way. In a way that Tyler doesn't know how to explain. He wants to kiss him again.

"Do you want it back?" Jordan doesn't look at him when asks this, which means he knows that Tyler's been looking at him. Tyler gulps, flushes. This is Josh's brother. This is embarrassing.

Tyler sighs, he rolls over into his back so he doesn't have to make eye contact, he stares at ceiling. "No." He says, shifting around a bit. "I want to set up the n64 with the TV."

He hears Jordan sit up, hears the tell all sound of his super smash brothers 64 game pause. "I'll do it." Before Tyler can tell him to sit back down, before he can say no, Jordan is standing and handing Tyler his 3DS.

He grabs it and doesn't protest. "Sure." Tyler rolls onto his stomach and points at the duffel bag near the bathroom door. "It's in that bag, somewhere." He says. "Unless Mark lied to me."

Jordan nods and walks over, crouching down and digging around the big bag. "Got it." Jordan shows him the nintendo and the wires and then makes his way over to the TV to start setting it up. He watches, unsure about what to do. Jordan is focused. Does he make the first move? Does he just sit here? He should move.

"Want a redbull?" Tyler gets up, slowly, cautiously and walks around to the mini fridge. It's stocked with three drinks, redbull, mountain dew and yoohoo. He grabs a redbull and shuts the fridge.

"No," Jordan shakes his head and plops down on the  bed beside Tyler's, he grabs the other remote and turns on the TV and then the nintendo. "I can't stand redbull."

"Your loss." Tyler ends up back on his bed, sitting on the side, on the very edge.

Jordan hums. "It's gross."

"Have you tried it?" Tyler asks.

 "Yes."

"Yes?" Tyler asks, raising an eyebrow.

Jordan looks back at him, guilty, laughing. "No."

He bites his lip, once, twice. "Try it." Tyler uses his thumb nail to pop the tab.

 "No."

Tyler takes a sip, he waves Jordan over. "Try it." He gestures to the can, holding it out to him. An offering. "It's good."

"I'm not gonna like it." Jordan says slowly and turns to face him properly, stopping what he's doing. Like he's reading Tyler's mind, or maybe just his body language. He moves away from the bed and goes to stand up. Tyler shifts.

"Jordan," Tyler can barely get his name out. "Come here." He squeezes the can between his fingers, just a bit. He doesn't know what he's doing. 

"Okay." 

"Try some." Tyler takes another sip, swallows and then he reaches for him. His fingers brush Jordan's wrist, close around it and he pulls him closer, closer, closer until Jordan is standing between his open legs. Tyler's ankle touches his calf. Jordan's cheeks flush. Tyler has to look up just to see him properly.

He passes him the can of redbull. Jordan doesn't take it. He presses it to his lips, Jordan cracks a smile. 

" _Dude_ ," He shifts away, the redbull can presses to his cheek and Tyler touches his thigh, gentle, soft, then his hip. Jordan looks down at him, expression soft, warm, so inviting. "Tyler." He sighs.

"No?" He raises an eyebrow. He takes the can of redbull, takes a big gulp of it and he drinks the rest of it but still offers it to him again. 

"No." Jordan grips his shoulders. Tyler shivers. Okay.

"Okay." Tyler leans forward and places the can on the ground, his forehead touches Jordan's shin as he sits back up.

"Told you that I don't like redbull." Jordan sniffs. 

"Want to try something else?" Tyler asks, voice wavering. Jordan nods and Tyler pulls him down, hands pushing on his shoulders. Jordan follows his push. 

"Is it more redbull?" Jordan is on his knees, his hands fall to Tyler's thighs, Tyler shivers and Jordan's fingers trace patterns over the mesh of his basketball shorts. Tyler's lucky the bed is close to the floor.

Tyler kisses him.

 Jordan kisses him right back.

Tyler has never felt more alive. He reaches for him like he's not right there, like having him sitting between his legs isn't enough, like Jordan isn't already  kissing him, like he doesn't have his lips against his. His hands scramble, they pull on his shirt to get him closer. Jordan groans and falls weak against him, his waist locked in between Tyler's legs, his hands squeezing Tyler's thighs. Tyler nips at his bottom lip and twists his fingers in his shirt.

They share small quiet gasps and slow movements and tentative touches. Tyler can't stop touching him. He lets go of his grip on his shirt in favour for cupping his jaw with one hand and the back of his neck with the other, while Jordan grips him by his legs, thumbs rubbing along his inner thighs in a way that makes Tyler warm, hot. It's so hot. He squirms and Jordan presses into him, getting closer, kissing him harder.

Tyler pulls away for a moment, breathless, his thumb brushes along the curve of Jordan's jaw, then traces along his lips, Jordan kisses it. " _Fuck_ , you're cute." Tyler laughs, airy and light.

 Jordan's lips quirk up. "Yeah?"  he kisses his thumb again and Tyler nods. " _Yeah_."

His lips press at the corner of Tyler's mouth, and then they travel downwards, to his chin, his jaw, his neck. He kisses him lightly and it's enough to encourage Tyler to grip him tighter and curl his fingers into his hair. "I-" Tyler tilts his head back, unlocks his knees, Jordan's teeth scrape over his adam's apple. " _God_."

Jordan pauses, his breath tickles against Tyler's neck and then he moves away. Tyler nearly follows the movement but he settles for letting his fingers rest in Jordan's hair, his hold loose. Jordan stays crouched in front of him, his hands on Tyler's knees. "I think We should-" he gestures to the bed, "y'know, If you want." his smile is nervous, as though Tyler would ever say no. 

"Yeah," Tyler pecks his lips, once. "I want." then twice, then three times. Jordan smiles, Tyler lets go of his hair to hold his hand and help him up, help him stand. He wobbles for a moment, steadying himself with a hand on Tyler's shoulder.

Tyler scoots back on the bed, Jordan stumbles forward and sits beside him and then Tyler, with his legs burning and his arms shaking, crawls on top of him. He straddles him, sits on his hips, and then softly presses him down onto his back with the palms of his hands. Jordan allows this, he breathes out as he goes down. Tyler does the same.

Hands go to his hips, thumbs press against the skin peeking out from under his shirt. Tyler rests his hands on Jordan's shoulders. "Okay?"

"I-" Jordan's hands tremble as they move up to his waist. Tyler shifts on top of him, pressing down on his hips, harder, Jordan is hard. Tyler does it again, Jordan groans. "Shit. Yes, _yes_." He moves forward, moves closer to Tyler, leaning on his elbows, one hand moving to cup his jaw. His eyes sparkle. Tyler wants him.

They kiss like before, slow, intimate, like they never want it to end, quietly moaning into each other's mouth. Tyler's hands slide underneath his shirt and he pushes it up, carefully, Tyler is so careful. He hasn't touched anyone like this in a while and it's overwhelming, it's loud, so loud yet so, so quiet. Nothing else matters. His skin is hot to the touch.

The fabric of Jordan's shirt rests by his shoulders, it hangs around his neck. And as they kiss, Tyler's hands trail over chest hair, up and down, they follow his happy trail and then go up to his pecs, Jordan trembles underneath him and moves to grip his ass, hands holding him there. Tyler can't help but moan into their kiss and then scrape his thumb across a hard nipple making Jordan arch towards him with a quiet little noise.

He chuckles against his lips and Jordan's fingers dig into his hips and then move to rub up and down his his thighs, his back, they touch against his inner thighs, grab his ass, make him shiver, shudder, moan. He never stops, touching, searching. His hands wander and press and he finds every spot that makes Tyler shiver. Tyler lets him and does it right back.

Tyler's feels dizzy, he wonders if Jordan feels it too but he doesn't ask. His throat is dry and his lips are busy and his fingers are twisting Jordan's nipples. He focuses on him, Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. Tyler's mouth ends up around one of his nipples, kissing and licking until he's being told to " _Stop_ ," Jordan says, breathless. Tyler blinks at him, Jordan touches his shoulder, he squeezes. "Too many clothes."

"Right." Tyler bites his lip and manages to push himself up.

He sits up right, hovering above Jordan's lap on his knees and he pulls Jordan's shirt off of him completely. He looks at his nipples first wet, pink, used. and then looks him over properly. Takes it all in. Jordan's chest heaves, red with a slight blush and his silver chain sits against his collarbones and Tyler closes his eyes for a moment, to recollect, to make this last longer than he expects it's going to. There's no way he's going to last. Not when Jordan looks like this, not when he's touching him the way he is, careless and free but afraid and tentative.

"Tyler," Jordan's fingers move down his chest and follow his happy trail down from his belly button to rest on the waistband of his shorts. Tyler opens his eyes. " _Hm_?" Jordan doesn't meet them, he doesn't respond, he pulls on the elastic waistband, fingers brushing his skin. Tyler's cock aches, his hips twitch involuntarily. Jordan's hand travels down to his dick, he grabs him through his shorts.

 Tyler sighs, content, he pushes into his palm and rocks against him. Jordan tightens his grip and Tyler scoots down just a little, to be a tease, he drags himself across the erection trapped underneath him, Jordan groans, his hand falters. " _Dude_ ," 

 Tyler's cheeks flush and are as pink as the rest of him, he grinds down and does it again and then leans down to peck Jordan on the lips. "Can I suck you off?" The words are said quietly and emphasized by a roll of his hips.

"I-" Jordan nods, he chokes on his words, stumbles over them. "Yeah. yes."

 Clothes are removed, quickly, eagerly. Jordan leans back and cants his hips up to push his jeans off his hips and down his legs. "I hate skinny jeans." He huffs quietly under his breath. Tyler's laugh is soft and he helps him pull them down and over his knees, his calves and then his ankles. He throws them to the floor and then pulls his own shirt off. 

Tyler is on top of him again then, his lips start at his jaw and they go down his body, kissing, licking, sucking. Tyler doesn't stay in one place long enough to entice the appearance of hickeys. Jordan breathes heavily as he does this, he's quiet, but Tyler doesn't need noise to know he's doing a good job, to know that this feels good. Jordan holds his shoulders and pushes him down, gently, Tyler barely notices it. "I've got you." Tyler kisses underneath his belly button, his hands push at the legs of his boxer briefs, pushing them up and down and then pulling them down just enough to expose a patch of wiry dark pubic hair. 

He kisses downwards, lower, lower, lower. His cheek rubbing against his covered cock, warm and leaking, Jordan arches upwards, Tyler presses his hips down with his hands. "Ty,"  Jordan twitches beneath him. Jordan buries his fingers in his hair, needing something, anything to hold. " _Tyler_." He breathes out. Tyler likes it, Tyler moves. Moves his lips to his inner thighs, fuzzy with hair, Tyler doesn't hesitate to kiss the skin here too. Still, he doesn't linger too long. Jordan needs him.

His underwear come off once Tyler has kissed him over his briefs enough to make him whine and Tyler has them pulled down to the top of his thighs when he pauses at the sight of Jordan's dick. "Jordan," Tyler stares.

Jordan reaches down to hold his dick, his cheeks are red as he just barely strokes himself. "Tyler." He throws his head back, baring his neck, his chain glows against his skin. 

"I- _God_ , fuck." Tyler says, he looks at him, he stares at his dick. "You're big." Jordan flushes and Tyler shuts his eyes and then gets on his stomach, he can feel himself leaking in his boxers, but he's unimportant right now, now that he's in-between his legs. Jordan thighs seem to tremble. Tyler brushes a kiss against his right one and then leads kisses up his thigh until he meets a tame patch of dark public hair and has hard cock brushing against the side of his face. 

"Please." Jordan sighs, he scoots down just a bit and Tyler wraps a warm hand around the base of his cock.

Tyler breathes in. "Okay." He moves lower, to his balls, a slower start, a teasing start. He hears Jordan groan and Tyler sticks his tongue out and licks up his perineum. 

Jordan gasps, he shivers. "Touch me."

Tyler's smile is small, he places a hand on Jordan's chest and twists a nipple just as he sucks one of his balls into his mouth. Jordan let's out a dry gasp. He pulls off."Like this?" He looks up at him.

Jordan's risen onto his elbows, to see him. He grips his hair. "Do that again."

Tyler does it again, saliva wet on his testicles, he sucks and then kisses lightly, so lightly, his lips brush his balls. The hand in his hair tightens, he can hear Jordan breathing, airy, heavy. Tyler shudders and presses kiss after kiss after kiss upwards until he's kissing up his shaft and holding his cock against his stomach. He licks underneath the head, and then the tip, tasting pre-cum on his tongue. 

He looks up, eyes dark, pupils blown. Jordan writhes just a bit, a thin layer of sweat across his nose, his forehead. Tyler grips the base of his cock, squeezes. Jordan thrusts into his hand.

"Put your legs over my shoulders." Tyler tells him, voice shaky. He wants this so badly.

Jordan looks at him, lifts his back off the bed, one knee stays bent while his other leg stays straight and relaxed.

"Legs." Tyler says, he taps Jordan's thigh. "Shoulders."

Jordan shifts, his voice rasps. "Now?"

"Yeah." Tyler presses a wet kiss to the tip of his cock, his hands grasp his balls. "Now." _Now._

Jordan is shy about this but he gets his legs over his shoulders. Tyler isn't shy about this, he gets comfortable, drags him closer by his hips and takes Jordan's cock into his mouth, swallows around him in one go.

" _Oh_ ," Jordan moans, quietly, falling apart, he hisses and whimpers when Tyler takes him all the way to the back of his throat. It's good, it's so good and Tyler's never enjoyed sucking someone off more than this. There's gagging and there's fingers pulling hair and there are thighs that are threatening to crush Tyler's head but Tyler perseveres and Tyler sucks Jordan's cock.

His arms lock around thighs, his hips grind into the mattress and Tyler licks and sucks and bobs his head. Jordan reacts to everything and Tyler eats it up. When Tyler focuses on the tip of his cock, Jordan tries to shove his dick down his throat. When Tyler slows down, Jordan slows down too, he breathes evenly, its less rushed. And when Tyler swallows him whole, Jordan pulls his hair so hard that Tyler's scalp stings. it's hot, it's so hot. Jordan is hot, and cute and all the noises he's making; the gasping and whimpering, is good. It's so good. Tyler can't get enough of it.

He gives him everything, his mouth, wet, tight, the back of his throat. He gives him it all. And when Jordan's close, tipping on the edge, tipping over, rolling his hips into his mouth, Tyler is too. It's embarrassing, maybe, but he whimpers around Jordan as he rubs himself off against the mattress. Up and down, it's just enough for him and he keeps going and Jordan keeps pulling his hair.

No questions asked, no words exchanged, Jordan groans and comes in his mouth as rides the waves of his orgasm, hips moving with him, head tilted back all while he's pulling Tyler's hair. Tyler moans too, he comes in his shorts and swallows the semen that coats his tongue and he invites the taste into his mouth. Swallows around the dick in his mouth, softly as he listens to Jordan breathe.

Breathe in.

 Breathe out.

Tyler keeps sucking, less intense, he does it softly before he pops off of his dick and rests his face against his crotch for a moment before letting Jordan's legs, plop off of his shoulders and fall limp against the bed. There's silence and breathing, both of them are breathing. Tyler recollects first, he kisses his dick one last time before he sits up, his arms numb, he stretches them above his head. Jordan looks up at him, passing a hand through his messy hair. His whole torso is blushed, as is his face. Tyler groans.

"Kiss me." Tyler tells him, he leans over him. His softening cock brushing against Jordan's stomach through his shorts. His thighs burn when he slides on top of him and Jordan is still coming down, still high on pleasure. But he's there and he pulls him in by his neck, hard and he kisses him and rolls them over.

Tyler squeaks, Tyler laughs. Jordan pecks his lips and Tyler shuts his eyes when a warm hand wraps around his cock. He digs his nails into the back of his neck.

"Tyler." Jordan's hand strokes him gently, so gently. Tyler could be coaxed into getting hard against. "Look at me," Tyler opens his eyes, Jordan shakes his head, smiling and pulls his hand out of his boxers. Shows it to Tyler, semen covers his finger tips. "When?" He kisses him and Tyler indulges himself, pressing his body against his, pressing their mouths together for a kiss.

He's blushing, he kisses underneath his jaw, then behind his ear. "I- earlier." He whispers. Jordan worms his hand back into his boxers, rests it there, on his bare hip. Tyler shudders and they kiss again. And again and he spreads his legs, settles them around Jordan's waist.

"For the record, I was definitely going to suck you off." Jordan says, breathless, in-between kisses.

"Later." Tyler's fingers ghost over his shoulders. Jordan hums and buries his face in his neck, he breathes. "I can't right now."

15 minute is when later happens. Tyler stands, ready to shower but then Jordan suggests that he'll clean him up and before he knows it Jordan is licking and sucking come off his dick and passing a wet wash cloth through his pubes. Tyler is pliant, his legs turned to jelly, hands twisting in sheets. He can barely move, but he finds himself getting hard from Jordan's small ministrations around his dick, on his dick. His cock ends up in Jordan's mouth, hard and leaking and Jordan just smiles and takes him in his mouth. Jordan sucks him off just like he said he would. Tyler arches and whimpers and he moans, he never shuts up and to avoid a mess, Tyler comes down his throat and Tyler kisses him with the taste of his come on his tongue.

They pull on pyjamas afterwards and open a window, it's convincing enough and then they settle on Tyler's bed, Tyler's head on his shoulder, Jordan's arm around him as they watch TV. The nintendo is connected but, Tyler's tired, sated, he wants to be held and Jordan is holding him. They don't speak about what this means. But Tyler knows, it means something. It's something.

And eventually, Mark and Josh make an appearance and if they notice anything off, anything different between them. They don't say anything, they just pass them food and yawn and say they should go to sleep.

 They sleep in separate beds and Tyler sleeps, curled in on himself.

 

*

 

There's no awkwardness the next day.

In Jacksonville, Jordan sticks with him all afternoon. Tyler has soundcheck in an hour but Jordan had asked if he'd come with him to get food.

They walk to Chipotle, Tyler talks about last night's show. On the way back, burritos in hand, Jordan is doing the talking. He holds Tyler's arm, his grip is light though, ready to let go.

"So remember how I said I was doing woodwork?"

Tyler remembers. "I remember you mentioning a coffee table."

"Yeah, that, I um–set it on fire. Anyways—"

"You what?" Tyler raises both eyebrows.

Jordan laughs, looking away, his cheeks red. Tyler's not sure if he's blushing or if he's just embarrassed. "I- well my friend wanted to have a bond fire, so I brought it with me-"

"And you burnt it."

"We burnt it." He smiles then takes a bite of his burrito. Chewing before he speaks again. "It was bad and anyways, I made a new one. My parents love it."

"Do they?"

Jordan narrows his eyes. "Yes," He insists. "They like it."

Tyler wants to kiss him.

"Anyways, do you need a ukulele stand?"

"Do I need a ukulele stand?" Tyler repeats.

Jordan shoves him playfully, shoulder to shoulder. Tyler chuckles. "I'm being serious man."

"Are you trying to like, offer to make me a ukulele stand?"

Jordan blushes this time, for real. "Possibly." 

"I need a ukulele stand." Tyler smiles at him.

"You're impossible."

 

 

*

 

It's a secret, but it's not.

At night in the shadows of the bus, Tyler will sit on Jordan's lap and they'll kiss and kiss and kiss until they can't anymore and then they'll laugh and Jordan will grab his ass. They don't try to hide it.

They still play video games together and when the rest of the crew join them at night, they're always touching. Jordan will have his legs over Tyler's or Tyler will have a hand on his thigh but no one asks about it. No one asks, no one says anything. So they don't stop. They hug and they press kisses to cheeks. The only thing they don't do is kiss on the lips but when they do, everyone is either sleeping or not in their direct line of view.

During the day, they work but not together. It's too distracting. Tyler sticks close to Josh, they laugh, Josh talks about Jenna. And Tyler knows it's only done to encourage him to say something about Jordan but he's nervous. He's nervous around Josh now, it's not bad, it doesn't affect their relationship but he doesn't know how to tell him that he's doing stuff, emotional stuff and sex stuff with his brother.

 Josh is always reassuring though and Tyler feels better about it whenever he hugs him or asks if he wants to go grab lunch with him.

It's okay.

 

*

 

Jordan's giving him head after a show in his greenroom when Tyler asks him if they're together. It's whispered, his throat is sore.

"Uh," Jordan groans and pulls his dick out of his mouth, saliva clings to his lips. "Yes we're together." He says, his hand moving, up and down. "Did you think we weren't?"

"No, no. I thought we were." Tyler smiles, Jordan looks at him, twists his wrist. "Okay, fuck, good. That's- that's good."

"Just, y'know, making sure." Tyler sniffs, wiping underneath his nose with the back of his hand.

Jordan laughs and sucks the tip of his cock into his mouth.

Tyler shuts his eyes and grips his hair.

 

*

 

On their next hotel night he and Josh are sharing a bed.

Tyler wakes up to a weight on his chest. At first he panics but then he groans and pushes at what feels like a stomach. It's a person, of course and he tries to push them off but they resist. He expects it to be Jordan, he hopes it's Jordan.

He opens his eyes and it's dark, he can barely see, everyone should be sleeping. They have a long day tomorrow. But he looks up and It's Josh, Josh who's smiling and smug on top of him instead of sleeping beside him.

Tyler groans, quietly, barely above a whisper. "What the fuck?"

Josh leans down close and says. "I know." 

Not thinking much of it, Tyler closes his eyes. "Go away." He tries to turn, tries to hide his face into his pillow. Josh presses his hands to his shoulders.

"I know." He repeats, seriously this time and Tyler opens his eyes again, mouth dry. "I figured it out." Jordan. Tyler realizes. Josh is talking about his thing with Jordan.

"You don't know anything." Tyler turns away again, twisting around. "You know nothing." He mumbles into his pillow. He's not in the mood for this, he's tired. Josh should move, Tyler grips his waist and tries to push him, Josh doesn't let him. He narrows his eyes. "Josh." He sighs, reluctantly. "I'll tell you after okay? Let me sleep and then we'll talk."

Josh lightens his grip, his touch becoming softer. Tyler can't tell if he's angry or not. "Why didn't you tell me?" He whispers.

"I don't know." Tyler admits quietly, sheepishly. Tyler closes his eyes again. He was going to tell him. He was planning on it.

Josh grabs his hand and squeezes, Tyler squeezes back. "You're supposed to tell me stuff like this, especially when it involves my brother."

"I felt weird about it." Tyler shifts a bit. "Because he's your brother. I still feel weird about it." He's not sure if it's irrational or not. He throws an arm over his eyes. "Are you mad?" Tyler rasps out. 

There's silence before Josh speaks again. "Should I be mad?" He asks, Tyler keeps his eyes closed and hidden behind his arm. Yes. Tyler thinks he should. There's a level of betrayal in being in a relationship with your best friends little brother and not telling him about it, except for hinting at it. He'd never tried particularly hard to hide it, but that's not exactly important.

Josh is quiet for at least 30 seconds and for a moment Tyler's worried. But when Josh pulls his arm away from his face, he sees that Josh is smiling, just slightly. Tyler wants to flip him off.

"No." Josh says, he shrugs. "I think it's cute." 

"I-" Tyler takes a deep breath and chokes on his laughter. "You think it's cute. God. Okay–get off of me." He shoves Josh's chest playfully. "I can't breathe you dick." 

Josh rolls off of him, getting back under the covers. Tyler feels relieved. This is going a lot better than he had expected. He gets situated again, wrapping an arm around his pillow, hiding his face in his pillow. He cracks open his eyes to check on Josh, Josh is looking at him.

Tyler huffs. "Are you gonna give me the protective big brother talk?"

Josh snorts and rolls over and then he's closer, his chin resting on Tyler's shoulder, his hair tickling his jaw. "Do you want me to? I've never done it before.” 

"No." Tyler murmurs.

"Okay." Josh yawns, stretching his arms up. "I hope you know we're all going to tease you about this for weeks."

Tyler nods before his eyes widen and he sits up. he smacks Josh with his pillow. "What do you mean by we're all." He hisses, cautiously eyeing Marks sleeping form on the other bed. He looks to Josh. "Who else knows?"

"Um," Josh laughs nervously, turning his back to Tyler. Tyler sits up. "The whole crew." Josh says quickly.

"What?" Tyler wants to yell.

"Relax." Josh rolls back over and throws an arm around his waist. "It's just me. I'm the only one, probably well and Jenna. I texted her about it."

"Okay." Tyler lays back down, properly, slowly. He's going to kill Josh one day. He holds onto him. "That's fine."

Josh sighs, his breathing slow, tired. "We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Yeah."

It's quiet again.

"You've known for a while haven't you?"

Josh's laugh is stunted and tired against his pillow. "Yeah,"

"Fuck."

 

*

 

In the morning, he and Jordan sneak off to go have breakfast together. They hold hands in the hallway, Jordan initiates it and Tyler decides that it's okay. Jordan's hands aren’t as delicate looking as his, but they're soft and just slightly bigger and Tyler kind of really likes holding his hand.

Tyler's cutting into a pancake slathered in peanut butter when Jordan touches his wrist. "Everyone knows that we're dating."

 "I know." Tyler says.

"And that's,” He pauses, unsure. “okay with you?"

"Yeah." Tyler smiles and cuts out a bite of pancake. "Yeah, it saves us the trouble." 

"Good." Jordan takes a bite of his eggs, he leans forward just a bit. "Mark asked me if you were my boyfriend while you were sleeping the other day and I may have said yes and the entire crew may have also been in the room."

Tyler pauses. "Jordan,"

Jordan's grin doesn't falter. "What?"

"I like you so much dude."

 

*

 

Tyler sprains his ankle during trees, they're nearing the end of tour and Tyler trips over some wires that weren't taped down right and he falls forward. He gets back up right away but his ankle throbs and he knows the feeling. He remembers it.

Again, he powers through it, again he goes into the crowd, carefully stands on his platform. Again, his ankle feels weak. When he gets off stage, Josh and Michael help him walk to the green room. In there there's a couch and a proper table he can elevate his leg onto.

Jordan isn't the one to tend to his ankle, the venue has someone trained in medical care. A woman who is quick to asses him and quick to compress his ankle and give him an ibuprofen. Jordan's there though, on the couch with him and he holds his hand and kisses his cheek and lets him know that he's going to be okay.

Tyler believes him.

**Author's Note:**

> teehee//


End file.
